This debut album was a music collection written in Dejesus’ teens. Triumphant in its approach to modern rock, From the Subconscious married classical stylings with soaring vocals and heavy guitar riffs.
Songs from the Subconscious transports me back to my college days, a time when the notion of pursuing music professionally was but a distant idea. It wasn't until I found myself immersed in an illustration class that the seeds of possibility were sown.
I was already dabbling in songwriting and recording, albeit purely for pleasure rather than any serious endeavor. Playing in other bands felt natural, but the notion of claiming my own voice as a songwriter seemed a far-off horizon. Then came the assignment that changed everything.
Tasked with developing an illustrated album cover, I saw an opportunity to merge my passion for music with my artistic pursuits. With a penchant for watercolors, I embarked on the project, little knowing the twist fate had in store.
Midway through the assignment, the revelation struck: we were to present our music alongside the visual representation. Panic seized me as I grappled with the idea of sharing my intimate creations with my peers. Yet, with bated breath and trembling hands, I played my songs.
To my astonishment, my classmates responded with genuine enthusiasm, sparking a newfound belief in the potential of my music. Encouraged by their feedback, I dared to envision a future beyond mere hobbyism.
Fuelled by newfound confidence, I crafted an elaborate CD package, adorned with my illustrations, and set out to entice local record labels in Philadelphia. Though my initial motive was to showcase my graphic design skills, fate had other plans.
Enter Ted Richardson, a figure whose portrayal as a record label owner belied the reality of his private recording studio. Despite the discrepancy, I was drawn to his enthusiasm for my music and his promise of collaboration. And so, our partnership began.
Under Ted's guidance, my songs underwent a transformation, morphing from private musings into polished tracks fit for radio airplay. "From the Subconscious," my debut album released in 2006, bore the imprint of our collaboration, blending elements of modern rock with my ethereal vocals and cello playing at the center.
Yet, as the years unfolded, cracks began to appear in our professional relationship, revealing Ted's narcissistic tendencies and controlling nature. The initial thrill of collaboration waned, replaced by disillusionment and discord.
Amidst the tumult, one track stands out: "Damn." Rooted in a poignant reflection of my internal turmoil, the song encapsulated the conflict between my Evangelical upbringing and burgeoning realization of my homosexuality. It served as a conduit for emotions too complex to articulate, a window into the depths of my subconscious.
Looking back, I see "From the Subconscious" as more than just an album—it's a testament to my journey of self-discovery, a snapshot of a tumultuous period marked by longing, conflict, and the pursuit of authenticity.
